Totally Lost Control

So I was actually doing fairly well with eating, soda intake and exercise until 1/19.

January 19th was a very traumatic day for me. For all details, you can read HERE, but to paraphrase, as I was getting ready to go to the gym, my four year old daughter jumped off the couch and smacked her mouth. Her upper canines both went through her lip. Her lateral incisor was badly broken, and both of her top front incisors were pushed out of place. We went to the family dentist, who referred us to someone who could sedate her. It was decided to remove all three damaged teeth.

My daughter took the experience very, very hard. She was really, really upset. She didn't want anyone but me to see her, and she was even iffy about me. She slept with the covers over her head so nobody would see her mouth while she slept. She refused to eat or drink for days. Going to the gym or leaving her alone for even a second was completely out of the question.

I was really traumatized too- it's always difficult to see something bad happen to your child, but it made it doubly worse because I watched it happen, and I also have mouth issues. I don't know why, blood, guts, etc don't bother me, but anything going wrong in the mouth really upsets me.

The stress and trauma of the whole thing made me lose my self control when it came to mountain dew. I fell off the wagon, and in a big way.

It took a couple of weeks, but S has emotionally recovered from the whole thing, and is mostly fine now. I was able to go back to the gym after a week- she was willing to go to the daycare, and willing to be left with dh.

I'm back to the gym as usual, but drinking mountain dew, and a lot of it- I'm having at least a 24 oz bottle a day, and some days, an entire liter. I am also ridiculously pleased because I found mountain dew pajama pants, and bought them for a dollar. WOOT!

My eating has never been much of a problem, but I find I'm craving fattier foods. I'm also eating until I'm uncomfortably full, and I usually only do that like once a year, but I've found I've done it a couple times a week.

At this point, I'm only up about 2 lbs from where I was a month ago, and given my dietary habits, I'm amazed that's all I've gained.

I'm hoping that by blogging it, I will be motivated to get back into the game.

I'm considering drastically cutting my breads- maybe only have one serving a day. I definitely need to wean myself down from the 'dew.

As far as the gym, since "THE INCIDENT", I've had trouble talking myself into running. I think I've only ran once since then. I've done bike, elliptical, kick boxing, and some other weird cardio machine at the gym. I am considering running intervals- running at a really good clip, like 6-6.5 mph for 2 minutes, then recover 3 minutes, and repeat for 45 minutes. Everyone I've talked to who does intervals reports really high heart rates at first, but eventually sees a dramatic decrease in heart rate. I really, really need to figure out how cut my heart rate, it is still so high after years of work. I don't know what I'm doing wrong there. I never did go to a cardiologist; I probably ought to go to one who specializes in athletes who could make me feel better (or warn me away) from certain heart rate zones.