Just a game

I'm down into the 140s.

What has been different this time? I've participated in biggest loser competitions before. I've counted calories before. I've even kept track of said calories on a website. I've quit soda in the past (not this time though). I've been so, so, so tired of my weight for years now, so that certainly hasn't changed.

So, what DID change?

I think it's a couple of things. First, I got an iPhone, so tracking calories became much easier- I was able to add things right as I ate them, and was able to see how many calories things had. This makes food choices much easier, particularly when eating out. Knowing just how many calories were in Carl's Jr fries made me realize I didn't like the fries enough to order them. I would often order a cheeseburger there, figuring it was "cheaper" calorie wise than chicken strips, since the burger wasn't fried. The chicken was significantly lower in calories though.

Second, I changed the calorie tracking program I used. I used sparkpeople for years. I do like how they keep track of how many fitness minutes you've done year to date. However, my friend Jackie told my about http://www.myfitnesspal.com

The above two has made me take all of the dieting stuff less seriously. I know, it seems like it would be counter productive. I've realized that I've started to see meeting my calorie goal as a game, like my stupid facebook games. I try to keep my calories around 1200 per day, and then I try to exercise most days so that I have a bigger debt.

The weight is coming off slower than I'd like, but, it IS coming off. And that's what is important. I stalled a bit in the beginning, but now it's steady. Very, very slow (we're talking SLOTH slow here), but at least it's going in the right direction.

ARGH!!!!!!

152.2

I am up .2 since last week.

In the last week, I have worked out almost 9 hours. And this isn't pansy working out. This is running 3 miles without stopping. I hate running with a white hot passion. I also did an hour of kickboxing. Two hours of humilation via a burlesque-style chair dancing class.

I have kept my calories/fat/carbs within what myfitnesspal is telling me to do. So, my calories have ranged between 1200-1400/day. NO cheating. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth is logged.

IT ISN'T FAIR!!!!!!!!

I may end up cheating today- french fries covered melted cheese with some bacon on top sounds divine. If I'm going to stick to the diet and have nothing happen, why not?

Cranky

So I've really fallen in love with http://www.myfitnesspal.com. I don't know why it clicks for me better than sparkpeople did, but it does. I like that it shows me how many calories I have left.

Having said that, I'm appalled at how little I can actually eat in a day (particularly when I simply MUST have a can of mountain dew every day, and at least one piece of bread). I honestly thought my portion sizes were ok, and that it was my food choices that were bad. I still think to a certain extent, that's true. I mean, if I gave up bread and mountain dew, I could "afford" a ton more veggies. I went to lunch with someone at Carl's Jr recently, and they had a big plate of nachos and a big burger. I felt very virtuous with my chicken strips, and thought my food choices were awesome. Maybe they are, comparatively. But, the choices I was making obviously weren't working for me, as I've been struggling to lose weight for years now, and not seeing any success.

Now, I find myself incredibly irritable, but I really expect I'll see a great number on the scale. I think SEEING success makes it easier to be good with my food. In the past, I'll eat really well for a week or so, and not see anything, so I'll give up. Because of this competition, I've pushed past that first week (I started a week or two before you all did), and think I'm going to really start seeing results soon.

So, now I fantasize about eating crappy, sweet, sugary foods, and what I'll reward myself with at various loss stages (cute jeans and massages and pedicure figure heavily into these rewards).

Not a good start

PMS has ill timing for me this week. I could feel the bloating/cravings coming on yesterday. I dreaded getting on the scale, and actually decided to go to the gym before weighing myself. I am up 1.6 pounds this week- 155.6. Lame.

I actually feel like I did well this week. I exercised for 60-70 minutes 4 different times. I was careful about what I ate. I'm even cutting down on my soda. Hopefully this is just a hormone thing, and next weigh in will be better.

New Year, New Challenge!

I have started a new weight loss challenge with some very good friends.

I didn't take a picture of my beginning weight either. bad, bad me!

But, here's my beginning stats:

weight: 154

measurements

Bust: 39

waist: 34.5

hips: 39.5

I need to eat better. The quality of the food I eat isn't that bad, though I do have a penchant for chocolate. I've noticed that I try to not eat, thinking to save calories. Then, my blood sugar drops dangerously low, and I'm starving, cranky and panicky. At that time, I start craving sugary, crappy foods, and I generally give in because I haven't eaten all day. Thus, at the end of the day, my calorie numbers are ok, but the consistency is bad. I think I'm going to try loosely following a diabetic diet- eating a mix of protein and carbs, and not allowing more than 3 hours to go between eating anything.

Exercise is still going fairly well for me. I'm in a good habit with that, and tend to exercise at least 4-5 hours a week. Now that I've gotten clearance to not worry about my heart rate from my cardiologist, I've been better about doing cardio and pushing myself.

Well, this isn't going to help things

I don't want to type the whole thing out again, so here's a link to my regular blog: http://acaptiveaudience.blogspot.com/2010/03/whats-wrong-with-my-foot.html


To sum up, after running last Wednesday, my right foot hurt.

Now, a week later, it still hurts, and I can't wear regular shoes. There's a lump and a red spot.

Not good!

Totally Lost Control

So I was actually doing fairly well with eating, soda intake and exercise until 1/19.

January 19th was a very traumatic day for me. For all details, you can read HERE, but to paraphrase, as I was getting ready to go to the gym, my four year old daughter jumped off the couch and smacked her mouth. Her upper canines both went through her lip. Her lateral incisor was badly broken, and both of her top front incisors were pushed out of place. We went to the family dentist, who referred us to someone who could sedate her. It was decided to remove all three damaged teeth.

My daughter took the experience very, very hard. She was really, really upset. She didn't want anyone but me to see her, and she was even iffy about me. She slept with the covers over her head so nobody would see her mouth while she slept. She refused to eat or drink for days. Going to the gym or leaving her alone for even a second was completely out of the question.

I was really traumatized too- it's always difficult to see something bad happen to your child, but it made it doubly worse because I watched it happen, and I also have mouth issues. I don't know why, blood, guts, etc don't bother me, but anything going wrong in the mouth really upsets me.

The stress and trauma of the whole thing made me lose my self control when it came to mountain dew. I fell off the wagon, and in a big way.

It took a couple of weeks, but S has emotionally recovered from the whole thing, and is mostly fine now. I was able to go back to the gym after a week- she was willing to go to the daycare, and willing to be left with dh.

I'm back to the gym as usual, but drinking mountain dew, and a lot of it- I'm having at least a 24 oz bottle a day, and some days, an entire liter. I am also ridiculously pleased because I found mountain dew pajama pants, and bought them for a dollar. WOOT!

My eating has never been much of a problem, but I find I'm craving fattier foods. I'm also eating until I'm uncomfortably full, and I usually only do that like once a year, but I've found I've done it a couple times a week.

At this point, I'm only up about 2 lbs from where I was a month ago, and given my dietary habits, I'm amazed that's all I've gained.

I'm hoping that by blogging it, I will be motivated to get back into the game.

I'm considering drastically cutting my breads- maybe only have one serving a day. I definitely need to wean myself down from the 'dew.

As far as the gym, since "THE INCIDENT", I've had trouble talking myself into running. I think I've only ran once since then. I've done bike, elliptical, kick boxing, and some other weird cardio machine at the gym. I am considering running intervals- running at a really good clip, like 6-6.5 mph for 2 minutes, then recover 3 minutes, and repeat for 45 minutes. Everyone I've talked to who does intervals reports really high heart rates at first, but eventually sees a dramatic decrease in heart rate. I really, really need to figure out how cut my heart rate, it is still so high after years of work. I don't know what I'm doing wrong there. I never did go to a cardiologist; I probably ought to go to one who specializes in athletes who could make me feel better (or warn me away) from certain heart rate zones.