Totally Lost Control

So I was actually doing fairly well with eating, soda intake and exercise until 1/19.

January 19th was a very traumatic day for me. For all details, you can read HERE, but to paraphrase, as I was getting ready to go to the gym, my four year old daughter jumped off the couch and smacked her mouth. Her upper canines both went through her lip. Her lateral incisor was badly broken, and both of her top front incisors were pushed out of place. We went to the family dentist, who referred us to someone who could sedate her. It was decided to remove all three damaged teeth.

My daughter took the experience very, very hard. She was really, really upset. She didn't want anyone but me to see her, and she was even iffy about me. She slept with the covers over her head so nobody would see her mouth while she slept. She refused to eat or drink for days. Going to the gym or leaving her alone for even a second was completely out of the question.

I was really traumatized too- it's always difficult to see something bad happen to your child, but it made it doubly worse because I watched it happen, and I also have mouth issues. I don't know why, blood, guts, etc don't bother me, but anything going wrong in the mouth really upsets me.

The stress and trauma of the whole thing made me lose my self control when it came to mountain dew. I fell off the wagon, and in a big way.

It took a couple of weeks, but S has emotionally recovered from the whole thing, and is mostly fine now. I was able to go back to the gym after a week- she was willing to go to the daycare, and willing to be left with dh.

I'm back to the gym as usual, but drinking mountain dew, and a lot of it- I'm having at least a 24 oz bottle a day, and some days, an entire liter. I am also ridiculously pleased because I found mountain dew pajama pants, and bought them for a dollar. WOOT!

My eating has never been much of a problem, but I find I'm craving fattier foods. I'm also eating until I'm uncomfortably full, and I usually only do that like once a year, but I've found I've done it a couple times a week.

At this point, I'm only up about 2 lbs from where I was a month ago, and given my dietary habits, I'm amazed that's all I've gained.

I'm hoping that by blogging it, I will be motivated to get back into the game.

I'm considering drastically cutting my breads- maybe only have one serving a day. I definitely need to wean myself down from the 'dew.

As far as the gym, since "THE INCIDENT", I've had trouble talking myself into running. I think I've only ran once since then. I've done bike, elliptical, kick boxing, and some other weird cardio machine at the gym. I am considering running intervals- running at a really good clip, like 6-6.5 mph for 2 minutes, then recover 3 minutes, and repeat for 45 minutes. Everyone I've talked to who does intervals reports really high heart rates at first, but eventually sees a dramatic decrease in heart rate. I really, really need to figure out how cut my heart rate, it is still so high after years of work. I don't know what I'm doing wrong there. I never did go to a cardiologist; I probably ought to go to one who specializes in athletes who could make me feel better (or warn me away) from certain heart rate zones.

Back up

Well, I'm back up to the 149 range. Le sigh.

I did go back to the gym this week, and it was really nice to be back. I wasn't nearly as weak as I thought I'd be. Here's what I did this week:

Mon: Jogged. I actually jogged 25 minutes without stopping. Amazing! Now, I was only going 4.5 mph, but still, to run that long continuously is a big achievement to me. Add to the fact that I hadn't exercised in 2 weeks previously, and was so sick, it's headed into the miracle catagory. After the jogging, I did some walking and ab work.

Tue: Weights. Ouch. I had to dodge all of the NYRDS (New Year's Resolution Dieters). I was squished up against a wall, had no risers with my step, and had the dregs of the weights. But, Charlene is a fantastic instructor, and she worked us hard.

Thursday: Kick Boxing. I expected more madness at the gym, but I actually had my own bag, which almost never happens. Of course, I usually try to get a partner because then I'm not trying to chase my bag all over the room. I twisted my ankle, which made me feel like a total dork. It's kind of ached ever since.

Friday: Weights. Again, I was dodging NYRDS, but I had better weights, and the instructor, Carin, gave me a couple risers. Ouch Ouch Ouch.

Saturday: I didn't have a lot of time, since I was volunteering in the daycare, but I went out and jogged another 25 minutes. Still at 4.5 mph, but really, it wasn't bad at all. I could've gone longer but 1- I was only supposed to be gone 30 minutes and 2- I left my iPod at home, and it's really hard for me to maintain my motivation without tunes.

Final Weigh In

This ended up being a really tough month for me, but not due to temptations and parties, like I thought it would be.

I ended up sick. Really, seriously sick. Like in and out of the ER sick. I got an abscess in my tonsil that got to the point where it was interfering with my breathing. It completely messed up my Christmas, which was a complete bummer.

For the past couple weeks, "exercise" has been walking from the bed to the kitchen, or the bathroom. Yesterday was the first day I went without a nap in quite a while. I feel seriously weak and wiped out.

Because of this, I lost a great amount of weight. The problem is, I think it's probably muscle weight, and now that my throat is healing up, I think it'll probably come right back on.

I'm seriously considering joining Karilynn's challenge. I'm a little disappointed with how this competition ended. I feel so weak and sick and tired still, and I'd anticipated waking up New Year's Day feeling strong, and firm and skinny. I am lighter than I was when I started, which is good. I bought a new pair of jeans a couple days ago, and I LOOOOVE how they fit, and how I feel in them. Having said that, nothing would make me happier than to pass them to my daughter at the end of the month because I've shrunk out of them.

Thank you all for all of the support. This has been a wonderful experience for me, and I've had a lot of fun.

Pity Party

Every year for Christmas, we go visit at least 4 or 5 sets of family on Christmas day. I love the chaos and hustle and bustle of it, but my dh hates it. Every year he complains a little bit more.

This year, he started threatening to get "sick" on Christmas, so we wouldn't go anywhere. We decided to compromise and had really scaled back our visiting plans for the year.

Sunday, I started getting a sore throat. It has gotten worse and worse and worse. I finally gave in and went to the doctor yesterday, who gave me antibiotics and a painkiller. Antibiotics have not started working yet, but, yay me, the painkillers make me incredibly nauseated, so I get to throw up on top of everything else.

My family all left about 30 minutes ago to go to the annual Christmas Eve party at my parents' house. I'm sitting here alone, feeling sorry for myself.

So miserable.

Since this is a weight loss blog, I'll mention that I barely eat when I get a sore throat. So today, all I've eaten was a bowl of applesauce (I returned it soon after eating), and a banana. Yesterday's dinner was not accepted either.

So, with any luck, the sins of December are being purged, and I will at least break even for my final weigh in.

Dear Coughing Lady at the Gym Part III

Dear Coughing Lady at the Gym,

I feel like I am getting to know you so well. I haven't been in a week, and you come jump on the treadmill right next to mine to welcome me back.

I really think that maybe you should see a doctor. I don't think it's normal to cough every 8 seconds every single time (I think?) you go to the gym, and keep it up consistently for a month or longer.

Thank you for getting there later than me so I was able to finish my run within 10 minutes of you arriving.

I am now on week 6 of my couch to 5k program. It's been tough to get past week 5 due to sick kids and sick me, but I'm finally there.

Hope you get over your cough. I really, sincerely mean that.

Smooches,

Wendy

Sick of being negative

Seriously, I am so sick of being negative. I am feeling a bit down today though. While I did eat out a couple times over the weekend, I was pretty good about it, or so I thought. I still haven't had any soda, and when I did eat out, I ate less than half of what was on my plate. But, this morning, I find that I weigh 4 lbs more than I did a week ago. I never lose weight that fast, how can I gain it that fast? I know I didn't consume 14,000 calories, which is what it would take to gain that kind of weight. That doesn't even take into account the calories I would've used just to function. Maybe it's just a bad weight day, and it'll be better tomorrow.

To make matters worse, my younger two kids have colds, so no gym daycare for them, which means no gym for me unless I wait til evening. And, since I suspect it's in the beginning stages of the cold, I will probably be gone from the gym all week. ARGH!! I got an email about the gym daycare schedule, and she said that the gym is CLOSED from 12/20-12/27. Seriously? They didn't do that last year. It makes me wonder if the daycare lady is confused.

I actually saw an even lower number on the scale on Friday, so hopefully this is temporary.

One piece of better news is that I actually found a protein supplement/meal replacement that I can tolerate. I was at the mall, and they were giving samples. It's a local company, so I feel good about supporting local economy. Anyway, I got the orange cream formula. I do a half serving, which is 1.5 scoops with 1 c. orange juice. They say water, but it's better for me if I have juice. That has 23 g. protein, and a ton of vitamins.

November Weigh In

This was kind of a difficult month for me. I decided to quit drinking all soda. Now, as a general rule, I don't love soda that much, however, I am a hard core mountain dew addict. Seriously hard core. However, I made a goal a few days into November that I wouldn't have any. And I succeeded! I'm very proud of myself. Part of me wants to continue the 'no soda' goal for the rest of December, but on the other hand, I hate the idea of making any food/drink completely taboo. What I may do is give myself permission to have one or two mountain dews in december. I think if I budget a soda a month, that is reasonable, and then it's not a forbidden fruit, so to speak. However, if past experience serves, I may get a mountain dew, only to find that it's too sweet. Hopefully this time, instead of continuing to drink that first bottle, wondering how I got addicted in the first place, I'll hand it back to my kids, and mourn the loss of my favorite vice.

I had been feeling very virtuous because I'd been working out constantly, gave up my soda, eating well, and then BLAM! Out of nowhere, a good five (!!!) pounds jumped on the scale. No idea how it happened, and it was extremely disheartening. However, since I was already in the throes of soda withdrawal, I just kept going. I got sick and wasn't able to exercise a week. Even now, I'm finding it difficult to run. Well, even more difficult than usual. It hurts my lungs. So, I'm trying to just do 5 min increments and not make myself worse.

This was my weight this morning:

I'm actually pleased with it, since I was in the 155s for a solid week this month. To lose 6 lbs (from that point) in a month is HUGE for me. Even from Nov. 1 to Dec. 1 is 2.8 lbs, which is not a bad number, given how slowly I tend to lose weight.

I am hoping to reach 145 or 144 by New Year's.