Saturday, October 1, 2011

Final Results

Well, my final results are in. I'm sure it's not enough to win this competition, or even enough to recoup my money. That's a bummer, as I could use the money. However, I did lose a little over 10 lbs, and from the looks of it, it primarily came from my stomach, which is excellent.

However, I was looking at my pictures, comparing June 1 with today, and I do see a big difference, particularly in the side view.

The last couple of months have seen me achieve some victories. I ran a 10k. I ran a mile in under 10 minutes, something I don't think I have done since high school, if ever. Yesterday, I put on my 13 year old daughter's size 28 skinny jeans and they fit (we won't talk about the muffin top, and how women my age/size shouldn't wear those pants in particular anyway though).

I had hoped to get to my goal weight by now, so I'm sad that I didn't. However, I am quite close to not being in the "overweight" category, and that's my next major milestone.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

keeping on and new events

Well, I have two new things to lose weight for.  One is so soon that I'll see noticeable results.  My husband told me yesterday that we're supposed to go to a black tie event next week. I'd like to look great for it. I'm thinking I'll try doing pilates every day, in addition to my cardio and see if I see a difference in my waistline.

The other two big things is on 10/15 is a zombie 5k. I think I don't mind running so much if I'm distracted by costumes, mud, or foam. So, I'm going to try to run for a bit, and hope that my time at this race will be quicker than the 5k I did in May. I was pleased with that time, but I would be thrilled if I could improve it.  The other (even biggeer) thing is I'm going to Japan this month. The last time I was there and saw my friends there, I was barely post partum, so it'd awesome to go looking awesome. Granted, I thinner than I was the entire time I lived there, thanks to pregnancy, anything will be an improvement.

I am feeling happy in one aspect of this super long term journey.  Two years ago this month, I posted a picture of a formal dress that I'd like to be able to fit into. I tried it on today, thinking about that formal event next week. While it still is a little too tight for me to feel comfortable out in public, I was able to zip it up (well, all but the last inch, but I think that's a reflection of not being able to do my own zipper, and not the size of the dress). I haven't been able to do that before. That is really great for me.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Dirty Dash

Well, I completed the Dirty Dash.

Our team had 7 members- 3 ladies and 4 men. We ended up going the full 10k, though most of us walked most of the time. There were many obstacles, including tall bales of hay, balance beams, tubes to crawl through, rope swings, tubes to crawl under, and a good 1/2 mile walking through hip dip water.

Towards the end, there was a huge inflatable slip and slide.  It was easily the funnest part of the race. In fact, when we saw the final two people in our team (they were far behind, as they didn't run at all), we decided to go down the slide again, all together.

All in all, I had a marvelous time.  I didn't mind the little bit of jogging I did do, as I was with friends, and we were covered in mud, throwing mud at each other. I can't wait to do it again.

Monday, September 12, 2011

No Exercise

This has been a really tough week and a half for me.  I developed a serious infection on the back of my thigh. It made driving, walking, sitting extremely painful. Exercise has been out of the question.

Two doctors visits and a couple hundred dollars later, and I'm feeling a bit better.  Still can't exercise, but at least I don't look at driving the kids to school with dread.

I would be in a complete panic, since the Dirty Dash is this weekend, except I've been chatting with other people on our team.  Evidently, they all decided that 1- we would be walking it and 2- we'd be taking the 5k shortcut. I was really, really disappointed.  Why have I been training so hard if we're going to make it so easy? However, since I haven't been able to exercise at all for almost two weeks now, part of me is somewhat relieved.  I think I'll need to rest even more so that I'm as healed as possible.  Taking an open wound into mud sounds like a bad idea.

Thursday, September 1, 2011

August Autopsy

I really did title this correctly.  August was not a good month for me.

When I look at the math, I was out of town for almost half of the month on either a camping trip, an anniversary trip, day trips, etc. That adds up to a lot of eating out.  I also gave myself permission not to log my food on myfitnesspal.  After all, I've been doing it every single day since January, and I was getting very burned out. Because of the trips, my soda consumption was way up.  Mountain Dew was also on sale most of the month.

On the plus side, I was very active on these trips.  I think that all considered, I probably hiked almost 100 miles throughout the month.

When it was all said and done though, when I got on the scale this morning, I was up 1.5 pounds from where I was on Aug. 1 (well, Jul 31 to be technical- I was off on a camping trip on Aug 1 and weighed in early).  In general, that wouldn't upset me too much, except that July was a dud month for me too.

Part of me is extremely angry and upset.  This is probably the most active month I've ever had.  When we weren't off on our active vacations, I was going to the gym.  I've been trying to train for the Dirty Dash, so there's even been (gag) running involved.  This month I even ran 6.5 miles in one go.  Ok, I had to stop and walk some of it, but I didn't get off the treadmill until I'd gone 6.5 miles.  That's big for me.

I haven't done pictures yet because I sent my kids off to school before I could take them, but my belly actually feels a little bigger, so if I am heavier, it probably went there.

On the other hand, I didn't journal.  Maybe the soda did it.  Maybe I was eating more food, or more junk.  I don't know.

I'll try to start September fresh, and I am journaling again.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Another trip planned

I now haven't had any soda in two full days. It'll be 72 hours in the morning. Go me! My cousin, who is a personal trainer and fitness model competitor, sent me THIS article about how bad mountain dew is for me. I realize that some of his theories aren't totally proven, but it was thought provoking. It made me feel better about my decision to quit.

Also, a couple days ago, we got word that a trip to Japan is probably going to happen. My dh had been planning on going in October for a big conference for a long time. The earthquake in March made it not as likely. However, it's looking like he WILL be going. We've been saving airline miles so I can go, just in case.

This trip is even more incentive to 1- lose the weight and 2- stay off the 'dew even longer. First off, most everyone in Japan is very thin. Even the "heavier" people in Japan would be considered skinny here. Second, finding mountain dew there is practically impossible. I've visited the country twice, and lived there for a while. All three times, I had to deal with the jet leg AND caffeine withdrawals at the same time. Not pleasant. Trust me. Oh, and two of those trips were also in the first trimester of pregnancy too. Whee!!!

I am bound and determined to not have to deal with that this time around. So, it looks like if I am going to go and get addicted again, it'll have to wait until the end of October at the earliest. How about if I don't ever get to that point? I know it's the wrong attitude, but I'm just not sure if I can stay off of it entirely forever.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Getting burned out

I can see the symptoms- I'm having trouble dragging myself to the gym. Even classes that I ordinarily enjoy aren't enough to give me a good attitude. I'm glad I went when I'm done, but I'm lacking motivation to go there and have a good attitude.

I also decided a few days ago that I would quit my mountain dew habit until after the dirty dash. This month I have been kind of out of control with my soda drinking, primarily because I've spent so much of the month out of town, and I don't monitor as much when I'm out. I have gained two lbs and it's ALL in my stomach. I can absolutely tell. So, I made that decision and then immediately went crazy drinking even more in anticipation of quitting. Whoops.

I have one or two cans left, and I'm not letting myself buy any beyond that until after the dirty dash. I'm hoping that it'll make a difference this time.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hiking hiking hiking

Well, our weekend away was almost as active as I anticipated.

Thursday was kind of a bust. I wanted to go to kickboxing before we started our drive, but dh was anxious to get going, and it would've put us more than an hour behind, so I let that go. But, we drove alllll day and I didn't have time to exercise at all.

Friday we went to the Zion Narrows. The first mile is on a paved trail; no big deal. From there on out, you are hiking pretty much the whole time in water. The level varies from ankle to armpit, but for the most part, it's about to the knee. Well, my knees. I'm short. You're also walking over bowling ball sized rocks, so your stabilizer muscles are really, really worked. The entire canyon is 16 miles long, but that's really difficult for anyone to do in one day, so people who want to do the whole thing typically backpack in and then spend a night there. We didn't do that. We decided to go until we started to feel a little tired, then turn around and go back. After we'd been going about 4 hours, we decided we should turn around.

Going back was only about 3 hours, probably because it was down stream. By the time we got done, both my husband and I were pretty tired. He had a nasty blister on his pinky toe (his toe looks ready to fall off now, ewww), and I had a minor one on my big toe. Most of my toenail polish was rubbed off. Glad I hadn't just gotten a pedicure! Afterwards, we did the math and figured we went at least 12 miles that day. Pretty good! The scenery was incredible. Hiking at least part of the Narrows has been on my bucket list, and deservedly so. It was amazing.

The next day, we were both pretty sore, so we started off slow. We went on several smaller hikes that weren't as challenging. I figure we went about 9 miles Saturday, but it wasn't difficult at all.

Sunday was the day we had to go back home. We decided to stop at the Kanarraville Canyon because we'd heard the slot canyon there was beautiful. It's only about a 4 mile hike total, and at least 2.5 of that is on dry ground. It lived up to all of its' promises. It was so beautiful, and maybe more bang for your buck than the Narrows. Much easier to access and more family friendly.

I'm finally not sore today. I think I fixed that good though- I had my first ever personal training session today. It was exhausting. I thought she'd yell at me to push me harder, but evidently I push myself hard enough. About the time I felt ready to die, she wanted to back off because I looked pale. My cardio ability is still terrible. I simply don't know what to do about that. I'm curious to see if I'll be sore tomorrow.

This is the thing that was tough for me. After all of that exercise and walking around, I was too tired to eat much at night, so I felt like my calories were pretty decent. I got home and weighed myself, and I'd GAINED 2.5 lbs. Seriously? I'm halfway through the month, and I'm 2.5 over where I started the month? And I'm 2.5 lbs over where I was on June 30th? ARGH!!!! On the plus side, I tried on two pairs of jeans from my "skinnier" collection. They fit nicely, and I'd wear them if it was cold outside. I haven't been able to wear them in at least 2 years. So, that's good news. It won't win me this competition, but I am more concerned about how I look and feel than winning money. I just wish that sort of thing could be measured.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Anniversary Trip

Today is my 16th wedding anniversary. We're happier than ever, and I feel so blessed.

We rarely actually DO anything for anniversary, but this year is different. We've farmed the kids out to various relatives, and are going on a mini trip to celebrate. We're going to go to southern Utah. We'll stay in St. George, then drive into Bryce Canyon, Zion's, etc. The part I'm most excited about is hiking Zion's narrows.

I think it'll be a lot of fun, and we'll be so active I think I'll be able to eat whatever I want this weekend without negative consequences.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

July musings

July was a difficult month for me.

When I weighed in on July 1, I was thrilled with my weight. You know how sometimes you'll weigh in, and it's suddenly a lot lower than it's been, and then the next day, you're back up again? That was my July 1 weight. All month long, I was very good with my eating and exercise. But, a day or two after my July 1 weight, I suddenly gained 3 lbs, and nothing I could do would shake it.

I was getting really, really upset about the whole thing, and then finally decided to just let it go and stop worrying about it. The weight slowly dropped off, but I could tell that actually having a neutral or negative number would be a miracle.

I finally did the weigh in for Aug 1, and it was exactly the same. So, July was a big fat 0 for weight loss. I was relieved not to have a gain.

When I got comparing my July pic with my Aug pic, I think that maybe I am a little thinner. My number on the scale is the same, but I think I did lose fat and gain muscle. So maybe it wasn't a total waste.

If nothing else, I'm proud of myself for sticking with it, and not giving up.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Camping Trip

I just got home from a couple of days of camping. All in all, it was a lot of fun. We went with several friends, and they were such a hoot to be around. Our kids played in the water almost nonstop. You'd think they wouldn't have been *AS* dirty when they got home, but they were amazingly filthy.

I felt like I ate fairly healthy, except that I know I drink way more soda than I should when camping. I also took a hike. It was just about a mile long, and went up over 600 feet in that mile, which seems like a pretty good climb to me.

My husband took a picture of me at the top. I'm a little sad that I'm not happier with how I look in it.
All I can focus on is how big my stomach looks.

Sunday, July 17, 2011


*WARNING* A/C is out in my house, and I am overtired, hot, and incredibly cranky. If you do happen to actually read this blog, proceed at your own risk. *WARNING*

So, this month, I've been trying to work on drinking more water, as Karilynn suggested as the monthly "project".

I started drinking way more water, and immediately gained 2.5 lbs. It will not go away. So, here I am, more than halfway through the month, and I am heavier than I was on 7/1. I've been eating well- spacing my meals out well, getting proper nutrition and calories. I've been exercising a lot as well. I've gone three hikes that according to MFP, burned 1000 calories. Each. Two times a week at kickboxing. My fat percentage is down at least 1-2% from the beginning of the month. The damn scale just won't move.

In a twist of irony, I actually feel thinner. I bought a pair of shorts a couple weeks ago, and they definitely fit looser. For the first time, somebody aside from my husband noticed my weight loss. I'm down almost 15 lbs from Christmastime, and I finally had someone notice. Win!

So, I think that's all encouraging. I keep on with my good habits because, lucky for me, they ARE habits at this point. I'm also hoping that perseverance will win out, and eventually I'll break through this. My fat percentage is down, and that's really encouraging. I haven't seen it this low in at least 5 years.

However, I have to be honest. I'm frustrated because I am in this competition and this competition is about numbers- pounds lost, percentage of weight loss, etc. I can see some positive changes, but by the standards we use to judge for this contest, I'm failing. I'm not totally hung up on numbers, but it's tough to have this measure me as a failure.

I am also feeling a little bit, "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms" because we're now 6 weeks into this competition, and in that six weeks, I've only had two people from the competition comment on my posts. It's a mixture of emotions though- part of me really wants to be kind of hiding in a corner, and I'm glad that nobody is saying anything. On the other hand, am I really that boring?

Saturday, July 9, 2011

A much needed reality check

Today we had a family reunion. That could be stressful enough (though in this case, I happen to like my family, so that part wasn't a big deal). But, the reunion took place at a big waterpark. You know what that means.

(cue scary, suspenseful music)

Swimming suits.

I had a moderate amount of anxiety about appearing out in public in a swimming suit. Lucky (?) for me, that anxiety was outweighed by trying to chase four kids around said CROWDED waterpark alone. Husband was helping his parents move.

Once I got there and did some people watching, I realized that I've been spending too much time watching beaches/pools and the women there on tv instead of real life. On tv and magazines, everybody looks perfect. Perfect figures, no lumps, no bulges, no cellulite.

Guess what? Real life is NOT like that. In fact, of all the women I saw today, the one with the best body wouldn't have shown up in any tv show or magazine ad.

I know it's not good or healthy to compare myself to others, but I can't help it. I did. I found that when I compared myself to other women over 30 who were mothers, my body wasn't nearly as awful as I thought it was. In fact, I felt pretty good about it by the time I left. Sure, my stomach is still a train wreck, and will continue to be a train wreck even after I lose weight. My bikini days are over, at least until I get a tummy tuck.

But, today wasn't nearly as bad as I envisioned.

Best of all, we left the water park unscathed. No drownings, no kidnappings, no molestations, no sunburns. It was a great day.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Month 1- Finished

Ok, I've gotta admit to mixed feelings on this. On one hand, HOLY COW!!!! I lost SIX POUNDS in one month. For me, that is huge. I've never lost that much in a month unless a hospital visit was involved. I was, and am, so proud of that loss. This is also the least I've weighed in a couple years, so I'm very excited about that as well.

On the other hand, part of me was a little disappointed that I wasn't in the top three. I never had any expectations to be first, or even second place. But I thought maybe I could squeeze in for third. Without seeing any other percentages than the top three, I will say that I was less than a pound from being in third place. That's pretty darn close. When I started this competition, I didn't really expect to ever place in the top three. Definitely not first place for any of the months. But, when I weighed in this morning and saw such a great number, I'll admit to being a bit hopeful that maybe a bronze was in my future. So, yeah. I am disappointed.

Maybe that is one of my problems- that I never really *expect* to have good weight loss results. I think positive thinking really does make a difference. My latest diet effort has been going since around Dec. 20. I've lost a total of 14 lbs since then. Six of those have been this month. I was stuck for most of April and May at one weight. I think I've finally pushed past that plateau and will start losing again. I wonder if maybe our bodies get comfortable at certain weights, and we have to really fight to get past them. I remember weighing 144-145 for a long time, and that's where I got stuck in April, then gained a couple lbs on vacation, and didn't lose them. I don't really remember weighing anywhere from 137-143 for any length of time, so I'm hoping maybe I'll drop through there pretty quickly.

I think making myself spread my calories through the day and eating most of my exercise calories has helped. I've definitely felt more satisfied and full and fulfilled.

Monday, June 27, 2011

PMS and weight loss

Do you find that you gain weight just before or during AF time?

I've found that I tend to gain 2-4 lbs right around that time of the month. It's really frustrating when I'm actively trying to lose weight. I feel like I'm being so good, and suddenly my weight creeps up, and there's nothing I can do about it. Being already hormonally crabby doesn't help my mind set either.

One big problem I think I'm going to have with this competition is that I'm set to be in that pre-period bloat right around each weigh in. I know that it's going to frustrate me that when I do my "official" weigh in, I'm going to be 2-4 lbs heavier than I was a couple days earlier. I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for that. In general, I try to avoid weighing myself during that time because I know it will upset me, and it sometimes will sabotage me.

One thing I've wondered about is on Biggest Loser- those girls seem to lose weight every week, and don't seem to struggle with the PMS weight gain. Or maybe they do?

I'd love to spend a whole week at the Biggest Loser campus during a competition, just to see how things REALLY are, before all the editing. I'd love to see what their real workout schedule is like, how food prep really goes, how much they educating they do with the contestants about eating/food prep. They don't seem to show much of that.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Attempted murder!

There was a mass attempted murder at the gym today. Or, I learned a new swear word.

I showed up at the gym this morning, expecting my usual body pump class. I knew the instructor was in Cancun, and she would have a sub. But, I thought it would be more of the same. Oh, how wrong I was.

I knew this particular instructor who was subbing had a reputation for being really, really tough, but I've never actually worked with her. My first hint was when she had people put away any 3 lb weights because nobody needs that. Huh. Maybe we'll do fewer sets with heavier weights?

No. No no no no no no no no.


She said she wanted this workout to be the toughest one we did all month. I can't speak for the others, but it certainly was for me.

I sweated during this class like I haven't in a weights class. Ever. My heart rate was definitely up. It definitely felt like I was getting cardio in as well. It felt a lot more effective than traditional weights, or even cardio, because I didn't hate it like I hate running.

After I got home and could move my arms again, I did some research on Tabata, and was really impressed with what I read. They've found that people who do the high intervals increased their aerobic AND anaerobic capacities significantly more than those who just did moderate cardio. I think I'm definitely going to try and incorporate this into my workouts more.

I've heard interval training is really good for me, but never did it more than one or two workouts. But, my intervals were nothing like this, so maybe that was the difference.

Monday, June 20, 2011

Another Goal

So, my goals for this contest are twofold. The first, obviously, is weight loss.

The second is to get even more fit than I already am. I've signed up to do the Dirty Dash on September 17, which is a 10k race with obstacles. Why is it called the the "dirty" dash? Well, because the whole think takes place in the mud.

If that isn't daunting enough, I'm running with a team. So, if I'm slow and out of shape, I not only let myself down, but I let a bunch of my friends down. I need to be able to run 10k without struggling at all, and make sure I can do it with lots of hills, as the course is very hilly. The obstacles look fun. I am a little afraid of just how challenging it's going to be, but I think it'll be an absolute blast IF I have prepared myself physically for it.

I think I'll put a ticker on my page to count down to the race.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Starvation Mode- Myth or Reality?

The first week of the competition went great for me. I was psyched that I actually saw progress, and it was really great progress for me. I decided to take it up a notch further- I worked out even harder and longer. I was very very careful to keep my calories to around 1150-1400 a day, but mostly around 1150-1200. According to MyFitnessPal, I should be having around 1200 calories a day to lose weight. If I exercise, it gave me more, but I noticed that if I exercise, it gave me more to burn. If I didn't use it, it predicted faster weight loss. Awesome.

I was devastated to watch my weight creep back up each day. I worked even harder. It continued to climb. I didn't cheat at all. It still climbed.

Friday night, I grumbled about it to my husband, who went on about starvation mode, and he thought that was my problem. He told me he thought I should be using every single calorie budgeted to me, even the extra exercise calories. Then bragged about he gets twice as many calories as me. Meany.
Yesterday, I didn't go totally crazy, but I'm sure I went over on my calories by several hundred. It was awesome. I did feel a little uncomfortably full at the end of the day.

This morning, I was down .8 from yesterday.

This whole "starvation mode" in a way makes sense, but it also doesn't. It seems like it should be a simple math equation- if I burn 1500 calories a day just by existing, and if I only eat 1100 calories, I should lose weight, right? I can also see the body learning to conserve calories as a survival technique, but even so, it should draw from the abundant fat stores, right?

Apparently not.

So, this week, I'm going to make sure that I don't go below 1200 calories on a non-exercise day, and eat half of the exercise calories earned. We'll see how this goes.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Feeling down

I started the day on a high note. I set my alarm and actually attended a 5:30am kickboxing class. I grumbled the whole time, and I'm sleepy now, but I was proud of myself for doing it.

My weight was down from last week when we did the weigh in, and considering AF started today, I thought that was pretty awesome. I was feeling good that I'm about 10 lbs away from not being overweight anymore.


A friend tagged a picture of me on facebook from Saturday. I look fat in it. Not chubby, fat. And, to make matters worse, I'm eating, which, I'm sorry, but NOBODY looks good when caught on camera with a mouth full of food. Nobody. See evidence piece #1: Katie Price. A gorgeous young woman, but this is not a good photgraph.

Even when I weighed 100 lbs, I had chubby cheeks and a double chin. I don't expect that to go away unless I go get lipo or something, but it's still awful to see evidence.

Now, I'm seriously contemplating untagging myself so I can pretend I never saw the picture. Gah.

Sunday, June 5, 2011


Saturdays really are probably the toughest day of the week, diet wise. I volunteer in my gym's day care every other Saturday; that way, I get free daycare for my kids the rest of the time. When I go in, if it's not too busy, I can work out for 30 minutes. Sometimes my partner isn't there, so that's not possible.

After daycare, I rush to a standing lunch date with my mom, grandma and sisters. We go to some local fast food place, which one varies from week to week. It's a fun time, but since I got MyFitnessPal, it's been slightly traumatic to discover just how many calories these Saturday lunches contain. I thought I was making fairly healthy choices, and I was. For fast food. I knew that fast food is much worse than regular food, but it had never quite clicked with me. MFP says I can have 1200 calories a day, and most value meals are more than that.

Sometimes, we'll go home afterwards and cook there. Sometimes we'll get together with friends, which means a restaurant meal. I'm a notoriously picky eater, and hate fish. It seems like the healthy choices on the menu are fish. Yuck! Now that I can see calorie/fat counts prior to ordering, it helps guide my choices, but eating out for two meals in a day pretty much sends me way overbudget on my calories for the day.

Yesterday, I was really, really good. Because we were helping my grandmother build a shed, there was no lunch out. We had sandwiches at grandma's house. We were supposed to go out to dinner with friends, but they flaked on us, so we got a rotisserie chicken, which is pretty healthy.

What I struggle with is lifestyle. I don't think I'm willing to give up my Saturday lunch with the girls. It's been a tradition ever since I remember, and I love getting together with family. It seems like too much of a burden to expect one person to cook, and going out for lunch once a week doesn't seem like it should be nixed. I'm all about balance in life- I need to LIVE. If I can't find joy and be happy with my lifestyle, I won't keep it up. This, like my occasional can of mountain dew, makes me happy. It's not worth the sacrifice to keep it up. So, how to make it work in a healthy lifestyle? I think I should continue to check fat/calories in each meal and make appropriate choices- find the healthier things on the menu. Drink water instead of a soda (usually really easy, as I don't care for most soda). Don't eat the entire portion. Go for a run in the evening to counteract some of those calories.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

And so it begins

Here's my start weight.

I am going to work really hard to lose weight in a healthy way. I hope that the scale reflects the effort I plan to put into this, and that I am down to my goal weight (125ish) by the end of the competition.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

a new competition!

My friend Kari decided to do another weight loss competition. Since I had fun with the last one, i decided to get in on this one. I'll admit I'm a little apprehensive that I wasted my money because the weight seems to come off me so sloooooooowly. Hopefully this will encourage me a little bit, and who knows, maybe the weight will come off faster.

As a re-introduction to myself, here goes:

I'm Wendy. I just turned 35. I've been married for almost 16 years to my high school sweetheart. Together we have four children, ranging from 4-12. I work as a realtor, and am a girl scout leader in my spare (ha!) time. I never gave the slightest thought or worry about my weight growing up. As a competitive gymnast, I was always thin, always active. After my second child was born, I used Depo Provera for birth control, and for the first time, I found myself struggling a little with my weight. I stopped it after a year, but then I got a swing shift job, where I was spending 9 hours sitting down, late at night. I started drinking more soda, eating more candy, and before I knew it, another 10 lbs had creeped on. For the past 9 years or so, I've hovered between 145-155. I know that doesn't sound very big, but I'm only 5'2, and unfortunately, I carry most of my weight in my stomach/torso area, so it makes me look especially big.

I work out a lot- I typically am in the gym at least 6-8 hours a week. I think my downfall is my sweet tooth both for sugar/chocolate and for mountain dew. I enjoy reading diet books in my spare time. Many of them swear that I must have emotional issues that I'm suppressing if I'm overweight, but I honestly don't think so. I'm reasonably happy and satisfied with my life. Sure, I wouldn't turn down a million dollars, but I'm not too motivated by money. I have a great husband, great kids, great family, great friends.

Anyway, that's me in a nutshell.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Just a game

I'm down into the 140s.

What has been different this time? I've participated in biggest loser competitions before. I've counted calories before. I've even kept track of said calories on a website. I've quit soda in the past (not this time though). I've been so, so, so tired of my weight for years now, so that certainly hasn't changed.

So, what DID change?

I think it's a couple of things. First, I got an iPhone, so tracking calories became much easier- I was able to add things right as I ate them, and was able to see how many calories things had. This makes food choices much easier, particularly when eating out. Knowing just how many calories were in Carl's Jr fries made me realize I didn't like the fries enough to order them. I would often order a cheeseburger there, figuring it was "cheaper" calorie wise than chicken strips, since the burger wasn't fried. The chicken was significantly lower in calories though.

Second, I changed the calorie tracking program I used. I used sparkpeople for years. I do like how they keep track of how many fitness minutes you've done year to date. However, my friend Jackie told my about

The above two has made me take all of the dieting stuff less seriously. I know, it seems like it would be counter productive. I've realized that I've started to see meeting my calorie goal as a game, like my stupid facebook games. I try to keep my calories around 1200 per day, and then I try to exercise most days so that I have a bigger debt.

The weight is coming off slower than I'd like, but, it IS coming off. And that's what is important. I stalled a bit in the beginning, but now it's steady. Very, very slow (we're talking SLOTH slow here), but at least it's going in the right direction.

Monday, January 24, 2011



I am up .2 since last week.

In the last week, I have worked out almost 9 hours. And this isn't pansy working out. This is running 3 miles without stopping. I hate running with a white hot passion. I also did an hour of kickboxing. Two hours of humilation via a burlesque-style chair dancing class.

I have kept my calories/fat/carbs within what myfitnesspal is telling me to do. So, my calories have ranged between 1200-1400/day. NO cheating. Every bite of food that goes in my mouth is logged.

IT ISN'T FAIR!!!!!!!!

I may end up cheating today- french fries covered melted cheese with some bacon on top sounds divine. If I'm going to stick to the diet and have nothing happen, why not?

Sunday, January 16, 2011


So I've really fallen in love with I don't know why it clicks for me better than sparkpeople did, but it does. I like that it shows me how many calories I have left.

Having said that, I'm appalled at how little I can actually eat in a day (particularly when I simply MUST have a can of mountain dew every day, and at least one piece of bread). I honestly thought my portion sizes were ok, and that it was my food choices that were bad. I still think to a certain extent, that's true. I mean, if I gave up bread and mountain dew, I could "afford" a ton more veggies. I went to lunch with someone at Carl's Jr recently, and they had a big plate of nachos and a big burger. I felt very virtuous with my chicken strips, and thought my food choices were awesome. Maybe they are, comparatively. But, the choices I was making obviously weren't working for me, as I've been struggling to lose weight for years now, and not seeing any success.

Now, I find myself incredibly irritable, but I really expect I'll see a great number on the scale. I think SEEING success makes it easier to be good with my food. In the past, I'll eat really well for a week or so, and not see anything, so I'll give up. Because of this competition, I've pushed past that first week (I started a week or two before you all did), and think I'm going to really start seeing results soon.

So, now I fantasize about eating crappy, sweet, sugary foods, and what I'll reward myself with at various loss stages (cute jeans and massages and pedicure figure heavily into these rewards).

Monday, January 10, 2011

Not a good start

PMS has ill timing for me this week. I could feel the bloating/cravings coming on yesterday. I dreaded getting on the scale, and actually decided to go to the gym before weighing myself. I am up 1.6 pounds this week- 155.6. Lame.

I actually feel like I did well this week. I exercised for 60-70 minutes 4 different times. I was careful about what I ate. I'm even cutting down on my soda. Hopefully this is just a hormone thing, and next weigh in will be better.

Monday, January 3, 2011

New Year, New Challenge!

I have started a new weight loss challenge with some very good friends.

I didn't take a picture of my beginning weight either. bad, bad me!

But, here's my beginning stats:

weight: 154


Bust: 39
waist: 34.5
hips: 39.5

I need to eat better. The quality of the food I eat isn't that bad, though I do have a penchant for chocolate. I've noticed that I try to not eat, thinking to save calories. Then, my blood sugar drops dangerously low, and I'm starving, cranky and panicky. At that time, I start craving sugary, crappy foods, and I generally give in because I haven't eaten all day. Thus, at the end of the day, my calorie numbers are ok, but the consistency is bad. I think I'm going to try loosely following a diabetic diet- eating a mix of protein and carbs, and not allowing more than 3 hours to go between eating anything.

Exercise is still going fairly well for me. I'm in a good habit with that, and tend to exercise at least 4-5 hours a week. Now that I've gotten clearance to not worry about my heart rate from my cardiologist, I've been better about doing cardio and pushing myself.